Procrastination

The last few months I have had a situation in my life that I am really worried about.  It wakes me up in the night and I find myself begging God to take care of it.  I have prayed about it countless times.  Just when it seems to be getting better, things take a turn and it seems even worse than before. 

It doesn’t matter what the worry is specifically.  We all have times in the valleys of life when something has us down and frightened.  When we think about the future, a million “what ifs” flood our mind.  It may be news of layoffs at work, a medical test that came back suspicious, choices our kids are making that are out of our control, aging parents, and the list goes on.

This morning I was praying on my way to work.  Once again, I found myself asking for this situation to be rectified.  I suddenly felt frustrated with God.  I told him I was tired of praying for this situation over and over and seeing no result.  Suddenly (thanks to that Holy Spirit again), I thought…I am upset with God for taking his time answering my prayers, but there are so many things God has asked me to do recently, that I have put off.  This blog is a perfect example.  God brings ideas to my mind, and I procrastinate writing until months have passed between entries.


This week alone I felt down deep inside that I should send a card to a friend who is having a difficult time (I bought one, but it’s sitting in the office).  Yesterday I knew I should spend some time in prayer while Dustin went for a run (I watched a cooking show instead).  For several days something has told me to call my elderly neighbor to check in on her (I have yet to do it).


This led to me start thinking…why do I expect the God of the universe, who owes me absolutely nothing, to answer my prayers quickly, when I am not willing to do the little things he asks of me in a timely fashion?  He has the right to tell me, “not yet” because he knows the end from the beginning and what’s best for me.  I have NO right telling him to wait or I’ll do it later.  There may not be a later when it comes to reaching out to the people in my life.

So here I am, trying to do something God has laid on my heart to do.  I could spend the rest of the day and most of tomorrow catching up on all the work he has asked me to do that I have put off.  Thankfully God doesn’t keep score of all these instances when we confess them to him and try to change.  Part of 1 Corinthians 13:5 says, love “keeps no record of wrongs”.  And Psalm 103:12 says, “as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”

One day, I may share the specific worry that has been on my mind, but I want to wait and see how God works it out first, so I can tell the whole wonderful story.  I say wonderful because I have faith God will answer my prayers.  He may not answer the way I want, but I know the answers will be filled with blessings, grace and miraculous happenings.  I can already see some of them unfolding. 

In the mean time I’m going to try to do the things he asks of me right away.  Who knows…someone may be praying for an answer to a problem and God has chosen me to be part of the solution.  I don’t want God to find someone else more willing to help him.  And I don’t want that person to have to wait for an answer to prayer one minute longer than necessary.